Monday, July 30, 2007
KNS..
I Try to make myself happy everyday..
I Try very Hard..
Very very Hard..
But faking your smile always seems to hurts more..
But every night, there's always something i saw that make me damn emo..
Could this stop?
PLEASE STOP!!
I didnt know you could be so 狠心..
seriously i didnt know..
我搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
明明从前
连争执都很甜美
现在怎会
说句话就弄痛一遍
我真的搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
So what now?
I just got to read that..
I wondered..
I just went wondering..
Who izzit? Who izzit?
Who r you talking about?
I don't know..
I really don't know..
Cause there'r too many guys after everything..
I cant deny that of course i want what i wish for to happen..
Can i? I cant and i arent suppose to do so..
Can someone or i hope just you come and tell me what you r thinking ..how you r feeling and everything..
I want to know..
I used to think i understand you well..
Too full of myself? well..
When you came talk to me,
an emotion just rush out..
and i feel weak again cause i *****
izzit because this haven been happening for a long time
or izzit because i wasnt feeling that good for that moment..
But i asked myself,
Have i been feeling REALLY good since everything happens?
I don't know why..
It just happens every night..
I still can't understand your blog..
I will make sure i do..
and please dun change..damn,what m i talking?)
Will you ever think of me at;
9:56 PM
Friday, July 27, 2007
Ta Da!!
Friday!!
Time for some rest..
Yeah..
Oh ya..
Teleprint quiz today..
Last minute study..hehehe..
But i think i still can do the paper..
only got some problem with the first question..
aiya..
Anyway i saw qian ru and our (snow white) kahying at bb..
these two hor..
was so amused by the pics in their camera..
Din even notice i was behind them spying all these time..lol
Gave them a shock..hahaha
Heard from snow white she finding me yesterday for lunch..
Woah..first time leh, find me for lunch..
but too bad yesterday phone no batt so..hehehe
Snow white, next time ba..
thats about it for the day..
Eunice goh, do you know how much i miss you?I miss you alot.From such close friends that we used to be,till now that we hardly see each other.Fated? It can't be.I know your work is going to end soonI understand how much this job and the person there is important to you,but you already say that as long as you remember where you from.Things happened won't be a problem.I think you understand already so smile and just to let you know that i'll always be here for you.我会好好过 等你再爱我
我相信总有个角落 会让你想起我
你留下很多 够我面对寂寞
但寂寞不重 重是爱太多
我会好好过 当你回头, 看到的一定是我
Will you ever think of me at;
10:01 PM
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Tuesday night..
I never sleep abit for the whole night..
Im back..
trying to make myself as tired as possible before i went to sleep..
Just to make sure i don't think of you the moment i close my eyes..
Never expect that the moment i feel tired, it was time for school..
Picked myself up from bed and went to school..
First lesson - Icapp lab
Another tough subject..
Xu was late..hahaha
And last night she still told me must come for lesson..
Anyway was feeling kinda tired during lesson..
VERY TIRED..could fall asleep any moment..
Saw you before apel lesson..
but hell..what different does it make?
Apel lesson was boring as usual..
Last apel lesson..I don't know what to react when i heard that news.
Maybe it for the best..For me of course..
Sleep all my way and went to mensar to sleep again before BFA
Wasnt paying much attention in BFA..
I fall asleep every moment the teacher stop her sentence..
Hell too tired..
Decided to go home straight after lesson..
Someone msg-ed me to do so too..
And i got back my BFA's quiz result too..still not bad..
Lesson ended..
Waited a while with bY for them..
The funny thing is i didnt know someone got such speed to walk past me when i still saw him way behind me moment ago..
Damn..i shouldnt talked about this
And to someone else..
I understand why the covering up is needed..
but i already know that..
I think i understand why you did that
thanks anyway if the reason why i think you did that is the same..
The moment i saw that,
I don't feel good..
seriously i just dun feel good..
The feeling is back again..
Feeling of being replaced..
Last time i was the one doing all this..
And this time,
its back so strongly..
+ i wasnt in a clear state of mind
A tired body with a mind being invaded by thoughts that shouldnt be there,
it just sucks.
I wondered..
Why izzit me and why must it be today?
回家的路上我哭了
眼泪再一次崩溃了
无能为力这样走着
再也不敢奢求什么了
Tears start dropping when i was on the way home..
Being a guy,
Im kinda useless..
Yes i m..
cause everything hurts me deeply
But i don't need all these now..
Why should i make a mess of my life,
being upset for every little thing
when You Dun even BOTHER!!
Come to think of it..
I really feel everyone can be that..
It doesnt matter eh.
Its the same to you right.
I dun deny i still feel upset..
I dun deny i still love you..
But i dun mean a thing to you..
I read your blog just now..
Another guy being rejected by you..
I remember someone told me..
"Those guys woo-ing her, i think she mention all..
but last time when the things happened between you and her, did she mention anything?"
But i don't feel the way like he does..I still don't..Maybe...
I fall asleep the moment i reach home yesterday..
I m too tired..
I don't want to think anymore..
I don't want the feeling to be back anymore..
I just want to be asleep..
Woke up in the morning and realized my house blackout..
No electricity at all..
checked it out and realized some reconstructing on the electricity thing is going on..
Damn..one whole day w/o electricity..
I got the urge to go online actually..
Just to see something but i guess maybe its fate that i cant..
And my phone is dead too..no batt and i cant charge with no electricity
One day without phone and com..
First time and it doesnt really make much difference..
No one will find me anyway..
Today yao jie look at me during break and told me i look kinda suay
Huh?!
What does that supposed to mean?
Didnt asked much and thought it was a joke or something..
But the moment i go for my Teleprint lab..
quek said to me
"Wa, you like 刚失恋 leh"
I don't know what to say lo..
Then asked him how come he say that..
he told me i never cut hair then dun shave..
look so lost like that..
Did i really look so bad?
I think so..
I think i dun even care about how i look recently..
Must take care le..
hahahahaha..
If i don't care about myself, who will..
You won't..
不管世界变得怎么样,
只要有你就会是天堂
No matter how much power you have, you cannot always ensure a positive outcome.
Will you ever think of me at;
11:55 PM
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
If you don't make the choice,
the choice makes you.
But why is your choices always keep us apart?
Don't you care for me?
You can talk to me
You can tell me anything
You know that don't you
Will you ever think of me at;
12:06 AM
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Do whatever you want..
I've had enough.
Stop all that, you already expected what is to come.
Will you ever think of me at;
8:26 PM
对你来说 我根本就不算什么
你似乎根本就不在乎我
你所做的一切真的会影响我的每一天
不过在你心里 你根本不管嘛
你永远是 每一个夜里 伤我最深的那个人
Will you ever think of me at;
1:01 PM
Sunday, July 22, 2007
I wasn't blogging for quite some time.
ok.
seriously i really got nothing to say, or should i say
i dunno what i could blog.
Wednesday 18/7/07
Another day with apel lesson and the date is quite a memorable one.
I hate to repeat myself cause when i do that mean that was in the past.
You talked to me?
It was nothing actually in everybody's eyes..
but it was different to me.
It was different..Way too different.
Someone told me maybe i should just take it one step at a time,
should i?
One month ago,
I was touched. Really touched.
Maybe to you it was nothing much but it mean alot to me.
But it was all in the past?
I started to think,
maybe i become too defensive?
Come to think of it,
I lose too many things in one month
Just one month..
I lose nearly everything
everything i can say that is important to me..
Including you.
Everything is gone just because you are gone.
Im not blaming you.
I can't and it wasnt your fault.
Just that everything came crumbling down when you are gone.
On the same day
Someone told me "文聪，你已经到了一个无可救药的地步了."
Use "无可救药" to describe me.
I was shocked to heard that,
but i think she was right.
Maybe toward you..Im already 无可救药.
Some(friends) already given up on me.
You are always in my heart.
I keep thinking of you no matter
where i go, what i do
Every place and every single thing hooked back the memories
Its sweet.
but when that happened, it hurts too cause its gone now.
Can i get it back?
Thursday
You chatted with me on msn which you used to,
but it seldom happened now.
Asked me about my blog. Isnt it all about you?
I wondered you read my blog? I know you did. I believe you did.
Sometime i even think that maybe you will be upset after reading everything.
cause i know what kind of person you are.
Maybe im wrong, i dunno you at all
I don't want you to be upset but i know im selfish.
I'm selfish.
The time now is 3:47 Am
Rains start dropping
and i didnt even notice.
Freezing cold
cold night.
Dark and cold it may be,
doesnt matter.
cuz its the same in my heart.
There seems to be alot of new faces around you.
Usually i will got to know who they are cause you used to tell me
but now ..
Alot of guys are trying to ask you for chances,
i know that.
Whether you gave them anot,
i dunno.
But i know the one is still him.
You blogged before you talk to me.
The weird thing is
I cant even get myself to read your post at one go.
My heart isnt that strong.
Every word seems to be cutting it.
Someone told me
"Maybe you shouldnt care too much about her, she's still living her life happily."
I know everyone should just live their life happily.
But i know you arent.
Deep down
you still got things bothering you.
Trying to tell me not to care too much about you?
Is that possible?
I asked myself. The answer is always there.
I still care alot what is happening to you everyday.
Friday
You'r going to chalet.
I think of the malaysia trip once again.
That trip of yours really make me experience alot.
Your messages, the feeling i have during those days and the things you told me when you return
All those,
are always on my mind.
Leaving once again but everything is just too different.
可能你从来没感觉到
可能你永远感觉不到
爱上你越来越无可救药
一天一天越来越无可救药
一生一次爱你到无可救药
我才慢慢体会到
幸福是被爱的人需要
我爱你到无可救药
Will you ever think of me at;
3:06 AM
Sunday, July 15, 2007
想陪你分享喜悦想陪你面对悲伤就算帮不上忙我也会静静的陪着你不管你怎样对我问我为什么？没为什么
因为我喜欢你
Will you ever think of me at;
11:01 AM
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Went out yesterday..
Went orchard..
Sing k with my friends..
I did passed by ngee ann city but i know you wasnt there..
Saturday..
14/7/07
Do you remember the kiss one month ago..
Do you remember falling asleep in my arms..
Do you remember i was there with you when you need someone..
I'm still here..
Same old place..
Waiting for you..
I'm feeling exhausted too..
I just want to fall asleep with you beside me..
Will you ever think of me at;
11:36 PM
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Ahhhhhhhh..
My eyesight worstened!!
Due to my contact lenses is giving my eyes trouble yesterday..
I wear specs to school today and i found out that i cant see things very clearly..blurly..
Sianzzz..
Continue doing my teleprint report in cyber center right after my first lesson..
Spend the whole night yesterday to do but still need to touch up on some parts..
but still got sleep for about 2 hours or so..
I'm in need of SLEEP!!
Met up with xinyi and crapped abit..
Miss Iu Xinyi,
your jokes are not Funny!!
muhahahahas..
Went to teleprint lab..
patched up some circuit and
Off we go!!
Then i realize i havent ate anything for the whole day..
HUNGRY!!!
Oh ya..
I joined ESC..
seriously i dun even got an idea whats that..
But qijun and jason asked me to join so i just go along with it..
Should be more active and can know more friends ma..
bY joined too..i think
Packed some food and went home..
You are still there
Deep down in my hearthahaha =DThe little heart is gone.Slowly and slowlybits by bitsI'm forgotten...
Will you ever think of me at;
8:25 PM
I shouldnt have tagged you..
I realize this only when i saw your reply..
Why the hell do i like to do what people asked me not to..
Feelings for you deepen recently
And all i could do was to watch you from far end Being Loved by someone is so sweet But that doesnt mean loving someone is tooCan you tell me what are your feeling when you decided to leave me and let me become the kohwencong that turned you off?
If there's really a chance,I want to show you thatI Really Care & You Matter Alot to Me
Will you ever think of me at;
10:15 AM
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
I nearly went blind today due to my contact lenses..
but maybe if i did, i will feel better..
=D
You moved away the moment i arrived..
Do i deserve this? Or just another way of your harsh method?
I don't feel so good that moment but i just take it down.
"In all communication you have today, pay attention to the underlying meaning"
I wondered..
Does 'that' consider as any form of communication and does 'it' mean anything??
You don't have to apologize. Really.
Do you know
Knowing you is a turning point in my life
Its all because of you that i changed myselfIf i was to say that there was a little joy and happiness in my lifeits all because of you
Will you ever think of me at;
10:46 PM
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Are you reading this?
Will you ever think of me at;
11:53 PM
Woke up with 2 missed call from xinyi and kt..
Kt one was yesterday but im quite certain i never heard any calls leh..
weird..
xinyi was checking whether i was around in school..
Actually want to find her de..but she ended up in her bf's hse..
Diao..
Lunched and went for my Netfund lab..
Lab test next next week..
Home right after school..
Woooo..
My mum's cooking improved..
hahahaha..
Not bad wor..
Thats about it la..
Buzi leh..
Quiz tomorrow, teleprint report and cds project..
but i arent doing anything..lol..
Im so alone but i'll try my best.
Cuz there's nothing in this world i can do.Getting my life back in process~
Will you ever think of me at;
8:49 PM
Baby set me free from this misery
I can't take it no more
Since you ran away nothing's been the same
Don't know what I'm living for
Here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do
Chorus
Until you're back here baby
Miss you want you need you so
Until you're back here baby yeah
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't let you go
So I told you lies even made you cry
Baby I was so wrong
Girl I promise you now my love is true
This is where my heart belongs
Cuz here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do
Chorus
And I wonder, are you thinking of me
Cuz I'm thinking of you
And I wonder
Are you ever coming back in my life?
Cuz here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do
Will you ever think of me at;
8:39 PM
Monday, July 09, 2007
ok.
I miss lectures..
i felt empty..every morning
I sat alone at level 1 of the block..
staring blank instead of going for my lecture..
Didnt know who to find..
No one to find..
Went to the next tutorial..
haven start..
Sat outside the class..
Waited and waited..
Just like how i wait for you..
Lesson ended..
El went for his interview i think
Alone again..
I think i saw you that moment..but
Lunched with bY and his friends..
And went for last lesson..
MCT..
Visited your blog again..
You wanted me to be happy but
your harsh method is really hurting..
Went home straight after school..
I really don't know where i can go..
I'm stupid.
To me?
I tot it was..
But maybe not..
I don't know..
I got no idea..
I think i saw you today..
I wish i could just walk over and..
I don't know what i'll do..
Surprises may somehow add joy to my life..but its doesnt seems to work..
i still felt Alone w/o you..
Every night seems to be torturing..
Friendster horoscope for Capricorn is Bullshit!
Will you ever think of me at;
11:27 PM
Sunday, July 08, 2007
I try not to online as long as possible today..
cause i know as long as im online..
it will hurt me..
But still i came online..
Saw it..
Im lost for words..
I dunno what to say..
Its like thousand needles piercing my heart..one by one..
I know i changed after that..
scary as it may seem..
but i love you..
I don't understand whats so scary..
Am i wrong in what i do for loving you?/
Being harsh is what you choose to make me stand again?/
I can't tell you whether it helps..
I can't tell you to go soft on me..
Things that are destroyed are already gone when you decided to treat me this way..
After all this,
Will i hate you?/
Will i?/
'cos u are kohwencong. someone who turned me off. cos u are DESTROYING UR FUCKING LIFE cos of me.
and GET URSELF A LIFE!'
Is this part of your harsh words..
You mean it? /
DO YOU?!!
I always believe what you did is because you still care..
even if my mind told me You'r not..
I rather lie to myself..
I know you'r doing this to let me get back my life..
but you won't be in it even if i got it back..
I did visited his blog..
Right after yours..
I heard the song..
I believe it was for you..
Even though i don't wish to admit it..
Even though that i don't really like him..
But it doesnt matter..
Do you think he will treat you differently?/
What if everything was like what it was before?/
I cant accept that..
cause i love you now..
You asked me to try my best not to love you..
even if i really allow myself to do that..
Where'll you be?
Will you be beside me?
I don't want you to be irritated by me..
but im afraid..
very afraid..
Will you ever think of me at;
11:39 PM
Hahahahahaha..
bY got a new interest of being other people's clone..
=D lol
Kt was his victim..
hahaha..
And he show me alot of stupid and lame stuffs..
don't know where he got all that..
He told me friendster horoscope is so zhun for him..
his horoscope = leo
So i went to see and its about he could finish his project today..
i hope so..lol
oh..i saw mine too..
Capricorn!
"There is a restlessness in the air for you today -- you have been good long enough, and you are itching to be just a little bit bad. This could be the start of a long phase wherein you'll want to test your boundaries and see just how far you can push things"
I want to be bad!! Hohoho..
Beware!! lol..
Will you ever think of me at;
1:24 AM
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Today is 07/07/07!!
One month ago..
I held your hand for the first time..
its so sweet..
One month after that..
which is today..
The Earth day!
What does this mean??
Hmmmmmm..
It mean nothing!
muhahahahas..
Boring as usual..
Yesterday after school..
Went to eat with bY's friends..
Actually was supposed to wait for miss joyful to finish her lesson and accompany her home..
opps..m i suppose to say that??
hahahaha..
But i went to eat instead..
sorry la ky..lol
Next time lo..
So went to eat and bY's friends was hell funny..
Some of them..haha
Know some of them too..
After that went to tm to slack for awhile..
And home sweet home..
=D
Will you ever think of me at;
10:51 PM
KNN..
If you think i'm entertaining you..then you'r wrong..
I only think i don't want this to continue and i hope for the best..
who the hell want to entertain you..
You misunderstood why i did all that..And there's nothing much more for me to say..
Even if you think i'm just acting in order to be pity be other people..
Fine!!
That person wun be you either..I dun need your pity..
Im not trying to do that anyway..
I had done what i think i should do..
and that is to apologize..
Whether you accept anot..
thats your problem..
Don't understand what im trying to say..
I cant do anything also..
Trying to act beng..
I dun have to face all this ok.
Seems like what i hope for won't come true..
Fine!!
You got your life and i got mine!!
Fark off your life?? No problem.
I don't see whats so hard about that..
Will you ever think of me at;
6:33 PM
Friday, July 06, 2007
After all these..
Now there's another guy..
and you..
you just..
ok..
i saw all of your msgs today..
every one of them..
Im sad..I miss those days.
I cried in the middle of the walkway..In school
But i think about it..
I saw your blog about feeling for another guy..
Emotional again..
Yeah im..
but
I want to get everything back..
Everything i used to have..
Everything i lost, I WANT THEM BACK!!!
And no one is going to stop me!!!!
Its still hurt and i don't deny that i still love you but i want my life back. Even they told me i never consider other people's feeling because of you. Now i know
Will you ever think of me at;
10:32 PM
Thursday, July 05, 2007
And for one moment..
i thought u will agreed..
but i still get a 'sorry'
Sadly to say..
i already expected it..
but still..
I can't get myself to lie that im fine with it..
You really trying your best to draw the line..
And i cant understand why there's another guy that send you home..
i tot you like walks in the night..
Or you accept someone like a friend to do that..
but not someone that like you..
Will you ever think of me at;
11:26 PM
我喜欢你
是真的 我喜欢你很久了
虽然我知道我不够帅 也不太会讲话
可是我比任何人都喜欢你。
Will you ever think of me at;
11:18 AM
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
你说过我用字体比较能表达我心里所想的
所以我想试试看
希望你会看到
我已经尽量让自己开心了
不过强颜出来的笑容真的不是太简单
在你面前，更是难上加难
事实上，我根本不在乎别人的看法
因为对我来说
你是最重要的
对你而言，或许你觉得这些话都是男生要追女生会说的话
因为我相信有很多男生都说给你听过
不管你信不信
我真的很爱你
我真的不想去。。。
不要告诉我
难道，
快乐的背后是伤心
坚强的背后是寂寞
你说你还是忘不了他
是因为你不想忘记他吧
你说你也想知道答案
但是其实你心里明明就有你想要的答案
从你跟我说他会来学校找你
你那开心的模样
不同的是以前你告诉过我
跟我在一起时，
你很开心.
迟早都会发生的
我真的不知道
那时的我会发生什么事，变成什么样子
回想当初，你还会担心和了解我的感受
现在的你，真的一点都不在乎吗
Will you ever think of me at;
10:04 AM
Early in the morning..
I read your blog..
seem like you'r finding a answer for your own..
weird as it always is..
and it seem like you doesnt care how i feel anymore..
Talked to you on msn..
you told me 'he' coming
Told me this as a Friend..
tats what you say..
you really think i forgot everything..
???
that's not possible for me..
Will you ever think of me at;
8:08 AM
Sunday, July 01, 2007
I just want you to knoweven though i'm doing all these right now..You are still deep down in my heart.
Will you ever think of me at;
10:52 PM
I spend all my time thinking..
when you called me last night..
was it because
you just want to chat?
i wasnt online?
or you just want to check whether i was alright.?
I rather believe that you still care for me..
When you say you'r going to return me..
I don't know what to say..
Does it meant anything to you?
I Don't Want It To Become This Way.我该学会体谅和后退
不过学得好辛苦
如果爱你是一种很傻的行为
我愿意当一个傻瓜
Will you ever think of me at;
4:42 PM
