ME-

Name: Wencong
D.O.B: 29.12.88
School: Temasek Poly
Electronics

Quiet and kind
Empathetic and humble
Affectionate with those i know well
Work hard at avoiding conflict and adaptable
Enjoy the present moment
Sensitive to criticism

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    Friday, September 28, 2007

    You say she don't know anything about you.

    Then what about me?
    Do i know anything about you?
    Tell me

    I want to know
    The wencong right now, izzit just a hi-bye friend to you?


    Will you ever think of me at;
    4:16 AM



    Being Positive?
    Since the day you first know me, when did i ever not being positive?
    That one year of time,
    my life is only happiness and joy
    well maybe Anger. if you could still remember.
    but there are no sadness or negative side of me.

    So when did all theses stuffs got onto me?
    The day i gave my heart to you?
    No!
    Cause that two weeks of time, i was really happy
    really happy
    The day you asked me to leave everything behind and move on?
    Well, i guess so.

    You
    The one and only person that could take the positive side of me away is asking me not to be so negative
    For god sake, can everything in me just back to normal?

    Being happy with the life you having now,
    you could simply tell me that thats how everything is now.
    so funny

    Don't you feel anything by telling me that?
    Should i really doubt that you got no feelings.

    How i wish i could be just like him.
    Giving up the gal that i cant get and go on with the next one.
    Living his life happily like fark!

    Why not be like him right?
    But im just not him!! God damit.
    Just cant do that.

    这是我第一次有这种感觉
    现在头好痛 好累好累
    逼自己拖着疲累的身躯和你说话已经到极限了
    累到连当我在写这些时,
    想流下的眼泪都流不出来了。


    Will you ever think of me at;
    3:48 AM



    Reached the state of
    you don't want to comment
    and
    i cant even comment.

    So what now.
    Im still the one standing there listening to what you gonna say.

    The amount of friends you got now, you could say something like that
    seriously did pissed me off.
    So what if its pissed me off, so what if i m angry?

    You don't give a god damn care anymore!
    With me, you don't want to comment ma
    Right?
    NO COMMENTS!

    HEADACHE!!


    Will you ever think of me at;
    3:30 AM



    2 more hours and i will be awake for 24 hours.

    With the headaches crashing upon me,
    don't think i could hold on much longer.

    Well, just cant get myself to tell you i cant talk to you much longer.
    I don't know when is the next time.
    Don't know if you even know the feelings.

    Still don't understand why did you asked me that izzit i purposely dun want talk to you?
    Never mind that.

    "I sacrifice my sleeping time?!"
    Well, im just lazy to explain at that time.
    Are you really that silly?
    Are you really that dumbo ? (using your word)

    Something make me happy for a moment.
    knowing you talk to me even when shar is online.

    At least i got to throw the thinking away that " you talked to me because you'r bored and no one was around."

    Cant take it much longer.


    Will you ever think of me at;
    2:51 AM



    You don't sound like you understand the words from me.
    but what can i do?
    I explained more, i just get back a "whatever" from you.
    So you really think that im alright even if you talk to me no more.
    You really think so eh?!!!

    I just don't know what to reply when in my heart i know you'r finding someone else.
    You don't understand don't you.
    What differences does it make? That person won't be me anyway.

    "Should happen, could happen, don't matter. You got plenty of time to think about all that later"

    I got these words in my mind always.

    But still, my head hurts.

    I don't even realized since when the pain i got in my heart been transfered to my head.

    Having frequency headaches recently
    since the supp paper.

    Slept at 12 last night and i woke up at 5 this morning.
    It was like "what? I woke up at 5 ?!"
    Been having headaches since then.
    And my house went blackout at 8.30 cause of some repair works is going on somewhere in my block.
    What am i supposed to do with no electricity?
    Anyway power was back at 4+ and finally something for me to do.

    "u purposely dun wan tok to me derhs izzit"
    What i got from you.

    Do you know my head is gonna blow when you talk to me.
    You don't know eh. Not unless i tell you right.
    No longer the sensitive gal u used to be.
    No use telling you that anyway.
    Got to spend my time explaining things to you
    Don't you see,
    till this very moment,
    I m still trying to act like nothing really happened infront of you.
    Trying my very best.


    I always got so many to blog about whenever we talked.
    Afterall, you mean alot to me but its just one sided.

    Will someone have fever if stayed in an air-conditioned room all day long?

    I thought the temperature will dropped.


    Will you ever think of me at;
    2:13 AM

    Saturday, September 22, 2007

    走在你我熟系的街头
    你不再牵著我的手
    小心翼翼的将回忆拿出来
    泪也小心翼翼的流

    有些事情你在瞒著我

    知不知道
    淡淡一句 "还是朋友"
    撕裂的心犹如刀割

    知道离开后你不难过 你比从前快乐
    祝福的话你叫我如何能够说的出口
    过往的温柔是否已不在
    想问你怎么舍得

    还是想在你耳边再说我会想你


    If you think everything i wrote is "shit"
    just take it as a form of entertainment ba.

    Maybe im thinking too much and seeing things too complicated
    but arent you trying to tell me more about him

    后来的我渐渐发现
    想让自己"真正"的开心起来
    要好多好多自己熟系的人和身旁发生的事才行

    不过一当回到家
    开开心心的希望能和你说话
    却发现好奇怪 有种说不出来的不同
    发现你不知是不是故意提到他的

    是有意的吗?
    是无心的吗?
    这些问题一直在身边围绕着
    明明很累
    但自己也很清楚今晚是不可能睡的了了

    说一切都是你的错吗?
    你应该会很生气的想 "关我什么事"
    其实自己也明白
    明白应该给别人一个机会
    明白一切为什么这样的结束
    当初快乐的时候
    为什么会一直逼你
    就是因为感到没有安全感
    总觉得一切就会像现在这样
    暗然的结束

    事情果然发生了
    故作坚强的告诉自己 "不是早就想到会发生的吗?"
    心里真不舒服
    感觉自己在骂自己

    或许没想到事情会发生的这么快和突然吧
    你的心和你所做的一切 说变就变
    我的心就像被你折了翅旁的小鸟一样
    就算你不是故意的
    我也就呆在这里
    看着你的背影渐渐离去
    而我呢 想飞也飞不掉了

    在电脑桌前 面对电脑的我
    只能默默的把心里所有的感受写出来
    可能电脑是唯一的一个会听我心情的人吧
    至少它能或有可能让你了解到我的心情
    或你根本没兴趣吧

    而你却在别的地方
    一个离我很远很远的地方
    慢慢的 静静的 等候"他"回来
    当我看到你问我 "他为什么还没回来呢"
    其实心里已经完全明白
    不过还是把自己当做白痴一样 傻傻的装做若无其事的样子 问你是什么一回事
    真像个白痴
    像个大白痴!!!!

    可躲在电脑后的我 你根本不可能知道
    根本不可能知道

    我去看了你朋友的blog
    读着读着
    老是觉得她的blog怎么读也读不完
    后来才发现原来是我的心越来越沉重了

    你的名字一直出现着
    这一点也不稀奇
    不过你的名字背后 对我来说 都是一条又一条的伤痕

    继续往下读
    发现你曾经msg她说你感到非常难受

    我根本不管那件事是什么时候写的
    心里想的都是 "你怎么了?" "发生什么事吗?" "想告诉我吗?"
    这些所有的答案 我已经都不知道该跟谁得到了
    问了你 你会说吗?
    完全不知道
    又再次发现其实我根本不了解你
    还说什么爱你
    或许我的问题应该是
    我该问吗?

    就算我不想承认
    不过你的世界好像跟我的越来越不同了
    你好象已不再是我认识的那个 吴素慧 了
    那个天真可爱 什么都傻傻的 吴素慧 了
    那个无论我说什么 都笑的好开心好开心的 吴素慧 了
    说到这里 泪水又再次忍不住了
    很努力 很努力的想把泪水往眼里流
    但所写的事好像能触碰到自己的心一样
    就好像所有的字都把我的心紧紧的包住 一点呼吸的空间都没有
    眼一闭 心一松 就好像什么都不管了
    眼泪一滴一滴的留下来 根本没停过
    一个人在安安静静的房间里
    房间里满满的都是有你的回忆

    没用的感觉又来了
    不知道为什么又回来了
    我应该有告诉过你吧
    之前的我自以为在别人面前 故作坚强就是表现自己没事的方法
    不过我又能怎样呢
    我难过 我很难过 我非常难过!!
    但也总不能永远表现出来给别人看吧
    宁原自己在夜深人静的时候 想起你吧

    在心里想了很久
    其实我根本配不起你嘛
    一向就对自己没什么信心的我
    在你离开之后 变得连一点点的自信心都没有了
    这是真的
    我最近发现 无论我在做什么 总觉得都是我不可能办到的
    再说 我已经离你的世界越来越远了
    我真的不知道 也不敢去猜
    哪一天 你会开始瞧不起我?


    Will you ever think of me at;
    2:22 AM

    Wednesday, September 19, 2007

    Went to school yesterday for Icapp's remedial.
    Was alone. Didnt expect xinyi never attend.
    But saw weixiang and christina.
    Didnt talk much then, must pay attention ma.
    After the remedial, accompany chris to go photocopy some stuffs then i realized i need to photocopy the maths remedial stuffs too cause i never attend.
    But chris's notes is way too luan liao so in the end never photocopy.
    I'm so stressed for my maths.
    The maths supp is coming real soon and i don't even know anything.
    STRESS!!

    Walked weixiang and chris to the bus stop.
    Then on my way home, felt abit lonely. Wondering is there a need for my existence?
    Well, maybe im abit too exaggerating.
    Just a depression feeling out of nowhere.
    Wasnt in a very good mood.

    Don't feel like going home too.
    Home is making me more and more frustrating nowadays.
    Rather spend my time outside then home even if i got nowhere to go.
    So i pass by my house, wondering where to go.
    Decided to go tm so walked there.
    I seem to like walking alot recently. =D
    haha

    Reached the place.
    Walked around with no destination.
    Had my lunch at yoshinoya.
    Then i realized the date is 18th.
    18th of sep.
    Time really flies eh.
    Make my way to NTUC after lunch.
    Thinking of how you intro me the type of mushroom soup you like that time,
    i got myself a can of mushroom soup. haha =D
    I didnt know why i brought it too.
    Say im silly? I guess so too.

    Everything is so similar, just like that day.
    Not knowing where to go anymore.
    Went home.
    Straight to bed when i reached home.
    Rather spend my time in dreams then having to face someone.

    以下是我想对你说的话:

    你说我装犹豫像傻瓜吗?
    好怀念你那时的样子 真可爱
    只希望现在你也能对我说, 那么我也会好开心

    我什么都不怕 只要有你在
    即使你不在我身边

    好希望
    快乐的时候能和你闹闹
    难过的时候能和你抱抱

    认真的时候 你千万不要来吵哦!
    哈哈哈
    *写这些时,总觉得都是些幻想而已
    不过我也只是想让你知道而已

    要我答应你的那条件吗?
    要我放弃对你的一切希望是吧
    傻瓜
    我知道你只想让我开心一点
    老实说 刚开始看到时并不是那么开心哦
    不过我知道你的用心就好啦 呵呵呵

    即使从前不管你要我答应你什么
    我都会因为怕你这位大小姐生气而答应
    说到这里 反正从前无论什么事 我都一定输你嘛
    因为你知道我的弱点 哈哈哈哈 =D
    不过!!
    这次我真的不能答应你哦

    我知道如果我继续像之前一样这样对你
    我们的关系一定不能像从前一样
    我已经尽量的压抑自己 只希望让我们的关系变回从前一样
    并不要求什么 只希望你能感受到

    那时和你聊天时
    有一刻 有一种像以前我们说话的感觉
    好久没有这种感觉
    真的好开心
    我就说嘛 只有你才能让我好开心
    er.. 这样说会不会有一点恶心呀?
    哎呀 不管了 呵呵呵呵

    不过还真的满高兴的
    当你说知道我对你很好
    不管你说的是不是真的
    我就是好骗嘛 有什么办法呢
    不过应该是真的吧 哈哈哈

    只想让你知道我最疼的还是你
    不要连让我疼你的机会都没有哦

    说真的 现在的一切都还不是我想要的
    有时候 一个人的我想到你还是会难过
    不过 一步一步慢慢来吧
    我还是会很想你的哦

    等等
    我说了这么多

    "你"到底知不知道我在说谁啊
    "你"应该知道吧
    别吓我哦 =D


    Will you ever think of me at;
    11:08 AM

    Tuesday, September 18, 2007

    I'll be going school later.
    Its early in the morning right now and hell CRAP is happening too.
    When i mention crap, i mean CRAP!

    He think he can let it out on me just because he wasnt in a good mood.
    FARK OFF!!
    I wasnt in my good mood everyday too. Does that mean i can let it out on him.
    I already knew he wasnt feeling too good few days ago.
    But i don't really care. To be honest,
    I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN SHIT ABOUT HIM OR HIS PROBLEMS!
    Did he care about our problems too?
    No, he don't and seriously i don't even want him to be poking around with my business.
    Nothing in his mind is important except ****
    and why should i care.

    God damit!


    Will you ever think of me at;
    8:34 AM

    Friday, September 14, 2007

    Its 7am right now.
    Just reach home an hour ago.
    Seldom spend the night outside.

    Lazy to talk about yesterday.
    =D

    I started wondering
    how come nobody tag me de?
    So sad t_t

    To vier :
    Nah, this part for you de.
    Happy anot? Be honoured ok.
    Also don't know want to write what for you
    hahahaha =D
    Oh, don't miss me too much la.
    hehehe


    Will you ever think of me at;
    7:05 AM

    Thursday, September 13, 2007

    Looking at your msn's personal message,
    my head start thinking "you ever wonder how many scars and scratches i got on my heart?" =D

    When i saw the way you so happy that im going to blog cause you got new things to read.
    I cant stop myself but to think
    Well, maybe vic was right afterall.

    "你只需要放开你的心,别一直往后走。是你的,就是你的,不是你的,怎么样逼都不会幸福的。开心点,我依然是你的朋友,不开心时,我还是会借你我的耳朵。放手吧!这样你就会得到幸福的。"

    对不起!我还是哭了。

    Im glad you never fail any subjects.
    Gpa dropped alittle but never mind de la.
    Can get back de ok.

    You offered to help me for my supp.
    I appreciated that,
    but i don't think "he" will be that willing.
    Maybe im thinking selfishly.
    Well, i just don't wish to bother them.
    You told me you will be there.

    If its in the past,
    i could be really happy that my darling will be so nice.
    Remember that time when u guys came down to school to help with my maths supp?
    Even though you guys didnt help much and we still went for movie after that, but i still very happy. Real happy.
    But now, please tell me that i will be able to study with you infront of me.
    With you surely playing around with them infront of me.
    I don't dare to think about that.
    I don't dare.

    I realized till now, till this moment.
    I still cant let you be pissed at me.
    I still have to give in to you.
    Maybe after all these, I really haven changed a bit.

    I know you want to help me,
    but you only making me feel more weak infront of you.
    You should know this more clearly then anyone else,
    i told you before.

    Friends? Yes, we are friends.
    Not that close only ma.
    I haven even really say much, you asked me to change topic.
    What are you so afraid of? haha.

    You still remember about our ice skating outing ar?
    Hahaha
    You know i feel like i could fly up to the sky at that moment,
    you r always so stick to me at that time.
    You used to be so innocent, not to say you r complicated now.
    but i really miss those days.
    Maybe i took you for granted last time, thats why i miss those days now.
    Those days that you always find me, we are always together
    Those Days.

    When you mention malaysia,
    you know what i think of.
    I cant help it, its way too sweet.
    I need not say more,
    those msgs, its still with me.
    Always with me.

    你说的每一句话 我都有认真在听
    储存在我的心上 怎么可能把它遗忘
    后来故事变得怎样 我希望我们的手依然不放
    我所有的悲伤 习惯有你陪伴
    怎舍得 再重返孤单

    答应你 我不会离去
    我们只是 短暂的分离
    我会在附近 紧握着回忆
    陪着你前进


    因为我相信 只要我相信
    就会有奇迹

    你说的我都体谅
    我的秘密锁在你眼眶

    过去一个人 偶尔叹息
    也曾想过要放弃
    如今 不为自己 也要为了你笑着让梦延续


    Will you ever think of me at;
    12:25 AM

    Monday, September 10, 2007

    After being missing for ten days or so,
    finally back blogging!
    Oh come on
    im not like those people that blogged nearly everyday.
    Whatever!

    Its not like im lazy to blog. Just that whenever i wanted to do so, you came to my mind and i don't even know what to write anymore.

    Lets see.
    Exams over! Holidays started!
    The end!
    =D

    310807 Fri
    Went over to yd's hse to kill some time since no one ask me to go anywhere right after the last paper which was like the first time.
    Its not like someone will give me a call, asking me out.
    Stayed there for a few hours and took a nap too. =D
    Woke up and its like evening time already
    Headed to Tm for dinner and
    ARCADE after that!!
    They wanted to enjoy themselves after exams and i didnt expect that enjoyment to be arcade.
    So played for a few hours there.
    Omg, i actually can stay in arcade for so long.
    Went home straight after that.

    "While i was writing this, you came back. We talked, i try my best to show you what you teaches me.
    I don't understand why you have to mention him.
    Say you went to bed but i don't think so. What i guessed make me went crazy again.
    Maybe you just don't want to talk to me. Maybe someone of more importance call you.
    I cried again right when you say "bye" to me. I never expected the feelings still so strong, felt weak. There are times when i even wondered, Im just too weak. Maybe you're stronger then me.

    You asked me about whether i did apply for the sms service,
    i don't know why but i still feel that you still care about me?
    Maybe as a friend or just nothing much
    But still i feel a tiny little bit of happiness from that."

    010907 Sat
    Another sleepless night.
    Lance called me for pool and i went meet him
    had a few games with them.
    Remember i used to teach you the game? You don't remember le, don't you
    Lance came over my house after that,
    took a nap as i was way too tired while he was enjoying my ps2.
    Nothing much after that.

    020907 Sun
    Cant sleep again.
    9pm,
    Cabbed over to xu's house to meet her and her landlord was kind enough to send us to the airport.
    Xu is going home.
    She's been looking forward to this day. Happy for her too.
    Her flight wasnt that early so we slacked around and everyone arrived soon after.
    Chatted for some time but actually i wasnt talking much.
    What can i say there?

    "So i started thinking about you, about that Malaysia trip you went.
    do you know how she bu de i was that time? and those messages you send me.
    Those things you told me.
    You thrown them all away didnt you?"

    xu asked me to miss her when she was away, hahaha =D
    but she added something before she end that sentence.
    I smiled. but i was kinda shocked that she say that.
    Im sorry.

    Off she went.
    Waving goodbyes, slowly out of my sight.
    I hate to compare, nobody like it.
    but feelings just wasnt right. Didnt say anything. Just want to stay quiet.
    You know my point don't you.
    You know what im trying to tell you right?

    Bus-ed home with xufan, jiaojing and a few others.
    didnt know their names.
    Send xufan home and we talked
    Think she was pretty cool.
    A gal who isnt that strong but know how to protect herself.
    Gonna learn from her. A very good example.
    Home after that.

    030907 Mon
    Dont even got the time to sleep as i reached home quite late.
    Rested for a while and hao called me to go take BTT test date.
    So prepared and went to meet him.
    Meet up with two of his friends at eunos then go apply for the test and took our test date.
    Headed to suntec after meeting adrian.
    Walked around and next stop dhoby ghaut
    Pool again!
    seriously speaking, i don't really got much interest in pool anymore.
    i got no idea why too.

    basically everything in my life doesnt matter much anymore.
    WHAT THE HELL M I TALKING? hai..

    "吴素慧 你到底知不知道我有多想你啊?!
    你到底知不知道没有了你,我的生活是怎么样的?"

    050907 Wed
    Cant sleep again.
    So went out alone for breakfast,
    first time im having breakfast alone. =D
    Went back home for a nap.
    Went to meet vier at eunos area, waited for him for 45 mins
    cause he having some problems with his driving lesson time.
    Its alright la since im free anyway.
    Was waiting for him and you came to my mind, its like repeating and repeating the same old thing. I don't know whether you will read this.
    But its true.
    Every moment i spend with myself,
    you came to my mind.
    I know you won't care cause to you,
    the only thing that matter to you is to follow your heart.
    I did too, follow my heart without thinking of the consequences.
    And all i got is heartache. I don't blame anyone. Really.

    Vier came at 12.45pm. Waited for the bus zh and ailing was on and moved on to the tpy.
    Cp was there already and left only the late queen, joyjoy.
    This blur gal hor, left her phone at home and still went back take
    no wonder called her so many times, no ans.
    So we went for lunch first and she finally arrived.
    Oh,and we saw qr, she was with her friends
    didnt talk to her cause i was too far away. Anyway,
    Went to k box!! Woooo..
    So long never go le..
    It was fun! But the songs are .. well
    All are great singers!! Including me of course =D
    Anyway after the k singing session,
    went mos burger for dinner. vier went off first to meet his friends.
    We had our dinner and talking session.
    hahahaha =D fun fun
    After that, everyone tired le..
    Feelings start to take over me again.
    Im sorry that i show you guys abit of unhappiness.
    And i not unwilling send you home la, tan kahying. =D
    quite late liao so all of us decided to send joyjoy home first and the rest of us cabbed home.
    Home!
    I was tired, i miss you. I went to your blog.
    I realized that you went to the airport too,
    looking at the pics you posted.
    I look at your face, the emotion came rushing into me.
    我才知道自己有多爱你

    You went to sing too.
    The day before, with the 3 guys.
    Forgive me
    but i don't feel real good.
    I wondered if i was there too on the same date.
    If i see you, what'll happened?
    我就被缠在这一些傻问题

    At that moment,
    i was really tired.
    Mentally and physically
    Lying on the bed, i couldnt fall asleep.
    I want to find someone, not knowing who to find.
    I messaged you.
    But what can i say? Im so dejected now but you doesnt seems to care.
    I cant say that.
    Someone told me that i cant cause if i do that, you'll dislike me more.
    I don't dare to take the risk.
    Knowing you are in camp enjoying urself, i don't wish to disturb you + you didnt reply me in the end.
    Ky told me cause i wanna lock myself in all those useless memories, she told me memories are meant to be sweet but instead its like making me sad.
    My memories with you are sweet! Real sweet. But after the sweetness, im sad cause its no longer there.
    I don't want that. I DON'T
    不可能跟可能 我已经不清楚了

    070907 Fri
    I didnt went out today.
    Whole day im at home.
    Its the third month since that day,
    do you remember?

    I do. Always do.
    I was really happy on that day.
    Time passed so fast. i didnt expect three months passed so fast.
    Just like that.
    I didnt know i wasnt really smiling from my heart for three whole months.
    Do you noticed?
    I hope you do.
    I really do.

    080907 Sat
    Grandma's birthday
    Went to aunt's house during evening time for bbq.
    And aunt's house there got a club house got something, quite fun ba.
    but like abit boring there =D
    Well,
    long time didnt see my little cousins le
    My ah ger sec 2 liao, like so fast lo.
    Still as cute as ever.
    And jianyong still as naughty as ever. Bad temper also =D

    Anyway some thing happened there,
    maybe i shldnt blow my temper.
    But this particular retard just simply pissed me off.
    So too bad
    I don't care
    And this retard tot everyone can stand his stupid jokes.
    Making fun of other people's weakness and think he's the best.
    Too full of himself.
    Just simply a retard.

    When i was so pissed off at that moment,
    i think of you, its so strange.
    I think of you even when im so angry.
    I just tot last time i can even find you to talk even when im angry.
    But now not anymore.
    Anyway i stay at my aunt's house till midnight before i finally came back home.
    Was so tired but still cant get to sleep so talked to joyjoy.
    She was online at a stupid time just to upload some photos.
    and she wasnt feeling too good. Having gastric pain.
    Guess she have been enjoying too much good food, thats why.

    Talked to her for awhile,
    and ask her to go sleep as she wasnt feeling well + it was really late le.
    But she come out with something like scolding me will make her feel better.
    Bla Bla Bla. Actually i don't mind de
    if scolding me will help her feel better.

    Stayed up the night again.

    090907 Sun
    Rested for awhile and hao call me out for pool again with the guys.
    Agreed and went over to bk's house to meet them and cabbed down to katong to meet bao.
    In the end, no pool but instead Lan,
    actually i don't want to play de cause it doesnt interest me much more then pool.
    But just accompany them lo since bao is going army next week.
    Hahahaha =D good luck pal.

    After dinner, bao's brother came down to katong to drive us back home.
    Thanks alot too. =D
    Back home, another sleepless night.
    In the morning, vic talked to me on msn.
    So surprised! So long never see him le, its was like two years or so le ba.
    He told me about a story that happened to his friend, i shouldnt say it here due to some reasons but vic, i wouldnt do that.
    He say he came to talk to me cause he wants to slap me from reality.

    He told me "Even if the gal do notice, she won't do anything, just smiling to herself how someone can be so miserable for her."
    I wondered "Will you?"

    Its the lingering pain that hurts the most.

    100907 Mon
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEIHAO

    Never went out.
    Home all day.
    Talked to vier and zh on msn at night.
    Seems like vier have decide to let go but we don't really know can he do that.
    Seriously i don't really know what more can i tell him.
    Looking at how he was going, i really cant be like him and tell them things about me.
    I gonna be stronger then him and make him let it go.

    After vier leave the conversation, only left me and zh.
    We chatted thru the night, till 6 in the morning.
    It was like the first time we talked for so long.
    Chatted about alot of things.

    110907 Tues
    After the conversation,
    i went to bed.
    Lying on the bed, i think of you again
    Zh told me "With car and money, gal will come."
    I don't agreed. Just like the way i don't agreed with the theory you used to have.
    I don't think it apply to you.
    I'll never apply something like that on you.
    Fall asleep. Woke up at 5.
    Went out for dinner. Wasnt feeling well.
    Due to the many sleepless nights, im having alot of troubles differiating day time and night time.
    Head was spinning.
    After dinner, took some medicine and went to bed.

    120907 Wed
    Just woke up at 5.
    Continue on this post.
    I been writing this post for like a few days already.
    Just couldnt finish as it was difficult trying to type and think of you at the same time.

    拼命想挽回的从前
    在我脸上依旧清晰可见

    Life is still going on like usual for me but life without you,
    i really arent that happy.
    I could laugh, i could cry but without you in my life,
    Nothing seems to matter anymore.

    I never talked about it
    I don't want to share my memories, memories with you in it.
    I want to keep that feeling.

    Until you'r back,
    things are not going to be the same for me.

    I didnt know why this happened.
    Everywhere i looked, i found only questions.
    Anyone can give me the answers im seeking?
    Everyone think that the answers they gave me is the one to my questions.
    Even if there is someone that could,
    I want that someone to be You.

    I love you.
    And you'll always live in my heart.


    Will you ever think of me at;
    12:57 AM

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