Monday, September 10, 2007
After being missing for ten days or so,
finally back blogging!
Oh come on
im not like those people that blogged nearly everyday.
Whatever!
Its not like im lazy to blog. Just that whenever i wanted to do so, you came to my mind and i don't even know what to write anymore.
Lets see.
Exams over! Holidays started!
The end!
=D
310807 Fri
Went over to yd's hse to kill some time since no one ask me to go anywhere right after the last paper which was like the first time.
Its not like someone will give me a call, asking me out.
Stayed there for a few hours and took a nap too. =D
Woke up and its like evening time already
Headed to Tm for dinner and
ARCADE after that!!
They wanted to enjoy themselves after exams and i didnt expect that enjoyment to be arcade.
So played for a few hours there.
Omg, i actually can stay in arcade for so long.
Went home straight after that.
"While i was writing this, you came back. We talked, i try my best to show you what you teaches me.
I don't understand why you have to mention him.
Say you went to bed but i don't think so. What i guessed make me went crazy again.
Maybe you just don't want to talk to me. Maybe someone of more importance call you.
I cried again right when you say "bye" to me. I never expected the feelings still so strong, felt weak. There are times when i even wondered, Im just too weak. Maybe you're stronger then me.
You asked me about whether i did apply for the sms service,
i don't know why but i still feel that you still care about me?
Maybe as a friend or just nothing much
But still i feel a tiny little bit of happiness from that."
010907 Sat
Another sleepless night.
Lance called me for pool and i went meet him
had a few games with them.
Remember i used to teach you the game? You don't remember le, don't you
Lance came over my house after that,
took a nap as i was way too tired while he was enjoying my ps2.
Nothing much after that.
020907 Sun
Cant sleep again.
9pm,
Cabbed over to xu's house to meet her and her landlord was kind enough to send us to the airport.
Xu is going home.
She's been looking forward to this day. Happy for her too.
Her flight wasnt that early so we slacked around and everyone arrived soon after.
Chatted for some time but actually i wasnt talking much.
What can i say there?
"So i started thinking about you, about that Malaysia trip you went.
do you know how she bu de i was that time? and those messages you send me.
Those things you told me.
You thrown them all away didnt you?"
xu asked me to miss her when she was away, hahaha =D
but she added something before she end that sentence.
I smiled. but i was kinda shocked that she say that.
Im sorry.
Off she went.
Waving goodbyes, slowly out of my sight.
I hate to compare, nobody like it.
but feelings just wasnt right. Didnt say anything. Just want to stay quiet.
You know my point don't you.
You know what im trying to tell you right?
Bus-ed home with xufan, jiaojing and a few others.
didnt know their names.
Send xufan home and we talked
Think she was pretty cool.
A gal who isnt that strong but know how to protect herself.
Gonna learn from her. A very good example.
Home after that.
030907 Mon
Dont even got the time to sleep as i reached home quite late.
Rested for a while and hao called me to go take BTT test date.
So prepared and went to meet him.
Meet up with two of his friends at eunos then go apply for the test and took our test date.
Headed to suntec after meeting adrian.
Walked around and next stop dhoby ghaut
Pool again!
seriously speaking, i don't really got much interest in pool anymore.
i got no idea why too.
basically everything in my life doesnt matter much anymore.
WHAT THE HELL M I TALKING? hai..
"吴素慧 你到底知不知道我有多想你啊？！
你到底知不知道没有了你，我的生活是怎么样的？"
050907 Wed
Cant sleep again.
So went out alone for breakfast,
first time im having breakfast alone. =D
Went back home for a nap.
Went to meet vier at eunos area, waited for him for 45 mins
cause he having some problems with his driving lesson time.
Its alright la since im free anyway.
Was waiting for him and you came to my mind, its like repeating and repeating the same old thing. I don't know whether you will read this.
But its true.
Every moment i spend with myself,
you came to my mind.
I know you won't care cause to you,
the only thing that matter to you is to follow your heart.
I did too, follow my heart without thinking of the consequences.
And all i got is heartache. I don't blame anyone. Really.
Vier came at 12.45pm. Waited for the bus zh and ailing was on and moved on to the tpy.
Cp was there already and left only the late queen, joyjoy.
This blur gal hor, left her phone at home and still went back take
no wonder called her so many times, no ans.
So we went for lunch first and she finally arrived.
Oh,and we saw qr, she was with her friends
didnt talk to her cause i was too far away. Anyway,
Went to k box!! Woooo..
So long never go le..
It was fun! But the songs are .. well
All are great singers!! Including me of course =D
Anyway after the k singing session,
went mos burger for dinner. vier went off first to meet his friends.
We had our dinner and talking session.
hahahaha =D fun fun
After that, everyone tired le..
Feelings start to take over me again.
Im sorry that i show you guys abit of unhappiness.
And i not unwilling send you home la, tan kahying. =D
quite late liao so all of us decided to send joyjoy home first and the rest of us cabbed home.
Home!
I was tired, i miss you. I went to your blog.
I realized that you went to the airport too,
looking at the pics you posted.
I look at your face, the emotion came rushing into me.
我才知道自己有多爱你
You went to sing too.
The day before, with the 3 guys.
Forgive me
but i don't feel real good.
I wondered if i was there too on the same date.
If i see you, what'll happened?
我就被缠在这一些傻问题
At that moment,
i was really tired.
Mentally and physically
Lying on the bed, i couldnt fall asleep.
I want to find someone, not knowing who to find.
I messaged you.
But what can i say? Im so dejected now but you doesnt seems to care.
I cant say that.
Someone told me that i cant cause if i do that, you'll dislike me more.
I don't dare to take the risk.
Knowing you are in camp enjoying urself, i don't wish to disturb you + you didnt reply me in the end.
Ky told me cause i wanna lock myself in all those useless memories, she told me memories are meant to be sweet but instead its like making me sad.
My memories with you are sweet! Real sweet. But after the sweetness, im sad cause its no longer there.
I don't want that. I DON'T
不可能跟可能 我已经不清楚了
070907 Fri
I didnt went out today.
Whole day im at home.
Its the third month since that day,
do you remember?
I do. Always do.
I was really happy on that day.
Time passed so fast. i didnt expect three months passed so fast.
Just like that.
I didnt know i wasnt really smiling from my heart for three whole months.
Do you noticed?
I hope you do.
I really do.
080907 Sat
Grandma's birthday
Went to aunt's house during evening time for bbq.
And aunt's house there got a club house got something, quite fun ba.
but like abit boring there =D
Well,
long time didnt see my little cousins le
My ah ger sec 2 liao, like so fast lo.
Still as cute as ever.
And jianyong still as naughty as ever. Bad temper also =D
Anyway some thing happened there,
maybe i shldnt blow my temper.
But this particular retard just simply pissed me off.
So too bad
I don't care
And this retard tot everyone can stand his stupid jokes.
Making fun of other people's weakness and think he's the best.
Too full of himself.
Just simply a retard.
When i was so pissed off at that moment,
i think of you, its so strange.
I think of you even when im so angry.
I just tot last time i can even find you to talk even when im angry.
But now not anymore.
Anyway i stay at my aunt's house till midnight before i finally came back home.
Was so tired but still cant get to sleep so talked to joyjoy.
She was online at a stupid time just to upload some photos.
and she wasnt feeling too good. Having gastric pain.
Guess she have been enjoying too much good food, thats why.
Talked to her for awhile,
and ask her to go sleep as she wasnt feeling well + it was really late le.
But she come out with something like scolding me will make her feel better.
Bla Bla Bla. Actually i don't mind de
if scolding me will help her feel better.
Stayed up the night again.
090907 Sun
Rested for awhile and hao call me out for pool again with the guys.
Agreed and went over to bk's house to meet them and cabbed down to katong to meet bao.
In the end, no pool but instead Lan,
actually i don't want to play de cause it doesnt interest me much more then pool.
But just accompany them lo since bao is going army next week.
Hahahaha =D good luck pal.
After dinner, bao's brother came down to katong to drive us back home.
Thanks alot too. =D
Back home, another sleepless night.
In the morning, vic talked to me on msn.
So surprised! So long never see him le, its was like two years or so le ba.
He told me about a story that happened to his friend, i shouldnt say it here due to some reasons but vic, i wouldnt do that.
He say he came to talk to me cause he wants to slap me from reality.
He told me "Even if the gal do notice, she won't do anything, just smiling to herself how someone can be so miserable for her."
I wondered "Will you?"
Its the lingering pain that hurts the most.
100907 Mon
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEIHAO
Never went out.
Home all day.
Talked to vier and zh on msn at night.
Seems like vier have decide to let go but we don't really know can he do that.
Seriously i don't really know what more can i tell him.
Looking at how he was going, i really cant be like him and tell them things about me.
I gonna be stronger then him and make him let it go.
After vier leave the conversation, only left me and zh.
We chatted thru the night, till 6 in the morning.
It was like the first time we talked for so long.
Chatted about alot of things.
110907 Tues
After the conversation,
i went to bed.
Lying on the bed, i think of you again
Zh told me "With car and money, gal will come."
I don't agreed. Just like the way i don't agreed with the theory you used to have.
I don't think it apply to you.
I'll never apply something like that on you.
Fall asleep. Woke up at 5.
Went out for dinner. Wasnt feeling well.
Due to the many sleepless nights, im having alot of troubles differiating day time and night time.
Head was spinning.
After dinner, took some medicine and went to bed.
120907 Wed
Just woke up at 5.
Continue on this post.
I been writing this post for like a few days already.
Just couldnt finish as it was difficult trying to type and think of you at the same time.
拼命想挽回的从前在我脸上依旧清晰可见Life is still going on like usual for me but life without you, i really arent that happy.I could laugh, i could cry but without you in my life,Nothing seems to matter anymore.I never talked about itI don't want to share my memories, memories with you in it.I want to keep that feeling.Until you'r back,things are not going to be the same for me.I didnt know why this happened.Everywhere i looked, i found only questions.Anyone can give me the answers im seeking?Everyone think that the answers they gave me is the one to my questions.Even if there is someone that could,I want that someone to be You.I love you.And you'll always live in my heart.
Will you ever think of me at;
12:57 AM
