Saturday, October 06, 2007

I forgot which day it was but i spend one day reading the messages in my inbox.
I haven see them for quite some time
guess what?
i don't dare to.
Trust me, its all for you.
I kept them here. All of them.

Looking back at the pasts, its sweet.
But like i always say,
"Sadness is what you always find behind happiness."
Its true isnt it?
Don't you feel the same?

I knew you'll change from the day i told you my feelings.
I knew it.
But i just didn't care about it.
Well, maybe.
No one will do anything when things beside them is happening the way they want it even if they knew it'll be different sooner of later.
My friends warned me about what the outcome might be.
But what did i do?
Nothing!
I just let it happened.

Guess the only thing u realized is i have changed. A different me.

People say Im crazy and that I am blind
I risk it all i know
How you got me blind is still a mystery to me

You still remember the first day of school when we got into a different class?
The stupid little confusion after school?
Those weird things i did?
At least you managed to sensed something is wrong with me back then.
When you told me you don't want all that too, that i just stood up and wanted to leave.
When you feel very weird too and you think this kind of joke really not funny.

Back then, when i know that was how you feel.
I find it rather sweet and i felt happy for a little moment.
Know why?
Cause i felt that you don't want to lose me, as a friend or whatever i could think of.

Right now
will you wonder or even care about what happen to me?
With the friends you have now, all the answers in my head is not what i want.

Do you know that it still lead me back to..
to Everywhere when i think of you.

On friday sep 28,
the things you told me.
Maybe i think too much but thats how i tot it was.
Turned out its not the same for you.
What i think it was, you don't think so.

I realized that it was all nothing afterall.

I went to see your friendster, your friendster comments. Found one feb 2 de comment.
I still don't know how to use those words.
To me,
You'r still the best. Till now.

Maybe you're right,
maybe im just trying my luck
maybe all these that been killing me is just some sort of silly jokes.

I think thats what keeping the worlds apart.
People passed by you and they leave too,
all these just at a split second.

The same happened in everyone's life, in my life.
You, the girl that i love
came in my life and walked straight out of it.
Just like that.

I still miss you, like i always do.
but i know this can't go on.
No more of this.
How long it been? Months...
Everything you have said and done feels like its deep within me.
Doesnt really matter if you're on the run.
Ive tried to hide it so that no one knows
But I guess it shows

Well, what does it matter?
You used to tell me i changed and i think you changed after i don't know when.

I changed. You changed.
To HELL everyone is changing!
Afterall thats how things is right now.
Correct me if im wrong but thats what you told me remembered?

I prefer to be the old me. The one that keep everything inside him.
Don't say a thing and no one will know.
At least thats how i was when we first knew each other.
Right from the very beginning.

You don't have to report to me.
You don't tell me so i asked.
Its doesnt really matter about my supp right?
Let me tell you,
Everything about you matter to me and thats why i asked.
Why can't you just understand that!

Everytime our conversation end up like this.
Its not like that de.
Doesnt used to be like that.
Frustrated! Damn frustrated.
I doesnt want it to be like this de.


Nothing in my life seems real.
All so fake.
Believe me. Its not about you, not about anyone else.
Just me myself alone.
I think i can't control things.
Everything i tot im in control of went out of control.

Having to go thru this is so much like my destiny.


"
All these precious moments
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That's holding me all night
I don't know how I found you
I'm thankful that I have
Now that I have a love so true
To hold,
to keep,
to share.
In my heart,
I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'll always be
with you untill the very end
In this world,
there is no place I'd rather be
You are my life,
my soul,
my girl
And through it all
I know
that you've come to see
that You're the one
till the end

All my friend around me
Say you'd be gone too soon
Baby,
I'm gonna make them see
We've found our way
back home
In my heart,
I can no longer
hold inside
All of the love
I used to hide
I'll always be
with you untill the very end
In this world,
there is no place
I'd rather be
You are my life,
my soul,
my girl
And through
it all
I know that
you've come to see that
You're the one
till the end
We'll always be
till the end
"

This song really calm me down whenever im frustrated or whenever i think of you.


Well,
i guess this is the last one for you.

Will you ever think of me at;
10:44 AM